Sentence Bytes

Before On the lighter side, the team celebrated the birthday of their own, S, in a unique manner. After The team celebrated S’s birthday uniquely. Note: Avoid 'On the lighter side' ...it's an Indianism. 'in a unique manner' vs. 'uniquely' - word choice suited for brevity.

Before: X’s annual event, Dazzle, offers aspiring engineering students across the nation to send in their innovative ideas and prototype solutions for problems related to the environment, transportation, and other areas critical to society and environment. After X’s annual event, Dazzle, invites aspiring Indian engineering students to send in their innovative ideas and solution prototypes for problems related to the environment, transportation, and other areas critical to society.  Notes: 1. 'aspiring engineering students across the nation'  vs. aspiring Indian engineering students' - in the interest of brevity. 2. Dropped ' and environment' from the sentence coz it's repetitive. -->

Before The team manages media for one of our oldest client, X and over the years, they have helped X branch out and break new ground. After The team manages media for one of our oldest clients, X, and over the years, they have helped X branch out and break new ground.  Notes: 1. Rookie mistake! -  The team manages media for one of our oldest client s.... One of my friends not one of my friend. Similarly, one of our oldest clients, not one of our oldest client. (One of many)

Before: In these cases, the slightest inaccuracy in the calculation of UPI could result in a drastic shift in a company’s profit-and-loss statement. After: Such inaccuracies could result in a drastic shift in the profit-and-loss statement of a company. Notes: Avoid wordiness. 'In these cases' just leads to verbiage. The previous sentence from the document ( after correction) is " Global businesses, being subject to currency exchange fluctuations, are affected by the slightest inaccuracy in the calculation of UPI". So the next sentence should not start with an unclear antecedent such as 'This' or 'That'. I have rephrased it to say, 'Such inaccuracies....' instead of 'This' or 'In these cases'... Made the sentence less unwieldy. Avoid saying 'company's. Say 'of the company'. Here's why!

Before: A particular day can prioritize client servicing while another might be better served pitching and researching new business. After: One day, it may be client servicing while on another day pitching and researching new business takes priority. Notes: 1. A day cannot prioritize anything. Only individuals can. 2. The 'before' sentence doesn't flow well. The first part of the sentence is about a day prioritizing an aspect of business - see Note 1. The second part of the sentence is about a day 'served pitching and researching new business.' 3. Have rephrased for clarity.