Sentence Bytes

Before How often do you detox from your smartphone, laptop or TV?  After --> How often do you disengage from your smartphone, laptop or TV?  Notes: Changed detox to disengage. #word choice Detox has a negative connotation in the text while disengage is free of a negative slant.

Before As they zipped past the red light, my attention was diverted to another guy on a bike who was trying to climb over the divider. After As they zipped past the red light, my attention was diverted by another guy who was trying to scale the divider.  Comments In the before version, it states that a guy on a bike was trying to "climb over" a divider. To keep it simple for the sake of reader comprehension, I changed it to a guy who was trying to scale the divider. Climb over vs. Scale - word choice    

Before Here’s a throwback picture from the First Union Budget of Independent India. What do you think are going to be the highlights of Union Budget 2018? After #throwback - Here’s a picture from the First Union Budget of Independent India. What do you think are going to be the highlights of Union Budget 2018? Notes: The usage 'throwback picture' is incorrect.  Check this link for guidelines on how to use the word.

Before Only when a company consistently commits to these working truths will it be able to achieve tangible results. After Only when a company fully commits to these working truths, can we demonstrate results.  Notes: The 'before' sentence was too unwieldy. You cannot consistently commit. You commit once. Shortened for brevity and clarity.