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Sentence 11

Before:


Our clientele includes one of the largest US banks, a bank with highest NPS in the US, the largest insurance company in the US, one of the leading Oil and Gas Company, and a top Airline reservation company.

After:
Our clientele includes one of the largest US banks, another with the highest NPS in the US, the largest insurance company in the US, a leading oil and gas company, and a top airline reservation company.

Notes
  • Changed "a bank with highest NPS in the US" to "another with the highest NPS in the US" since the first part of the sentence already uses the word "banks" so I didn't want to repeat the word.
  • Changed "with highest NPS" to "with the highest NPS" since we need to use a definite article there.
  • Changed "one of the leading Oil and Gas Company" to "a leading oil and gas company"  since it conveys the same meaning while being grammatically correct. (You never say one of the leading Oil and Gas Company - it is always one of many, so one of the companies, not "one of the company")
  • Oil and Gas Company need not have O, G and C capitalized.
  • Airline need not have 'A' capitalized.



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