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Sentence 6

Before:

In fact, as global efforts to rethink the utilities sector in view of growing concerns regarding climate change gain momentum, it is becoming clearer that it will be incumbent upon large, growing economies like ours to lead the way.
After:

 As global efforts to rethink the utilities sector amidst growing concerns about climate change gain momentum, it is becoming clearer that it will be incumbent upon large, growing economies like ours to lead the way.

 Notes:
  • Don't over-use 'In fact' (This is similar to 'the fact that', which one must try to avoid)
  • Word choice: Always use the shorter, more appropriate word. Therefore, 'amidst' is preferred to 'in view of'.
  • Don't over-use 'Regarding'. It is not suitable to use it everywhere. In this instance, 'about' is more appropriate. Again, it is an issue of word choice.
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