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Sentence 9


Before

All businesses, whether they be one of the largest bank in the US, a luxury auto maker, or an energy management company, want their operations to be at their optimized and efficient best, where they are automated to the maximum extent using their cognitive platform.

After

All businesses, whether a large bank in the US, a luxury auto maker, or an energy management company, want their operations to be at their optimized and efficient best. 

Notes:
  • changed "they be one of the largest bank" to "a large bank" to make it parallel with the other items in the sentence( a luxury auto maker, an energy management company)
  • Also, it is "one of the largest banks" not "one of the largest bank" . (Although I have deleted this entire text.
  • Deleted "where they are automated to the maximum extent using their cognitive platform."  because it was trying to cram way too much into one sentence, thereby spoiling its readability.
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