Before
One of the complex and intense projects that Gutenberg has ever done in India, we were involved in developing strategy and plans, media and influencer mapping, media education and engagement, content strategy and development, strategic partnerships, media intelligence, media monitoring and on ground event support across 22 states.
After
It was one of the most complex and intense projects that Gutenberg has ever done in India. We were involved in developing strategy and plans, media and influencer mapping, media education and engagement, content strategy and development, strategic partnerships, media intelligence, media monitoring, and on-ground event support across 22 states
Notes.
The 'before' version runs on. It is too long and unwieldy. It has no subject. It is a dangling modifier.
I broke the sentence into two. Fixed the dangling modifier.
One of the complex and intense projects that Gutenberg has ever done in India, we were involved in developing strategy and plans, media and influencer mapping, media education and engagement, content strategy and development, strategic partnerships, media intelligence, media monitoring and on ground event support across 22 states.
After
It was one of the most complex and intense projects that Gutenberg has ever done in India. We were involved in developing strategy and plans, media and influencer mapping, media education and engagement, content strategy and development, strategic partnerships, media intelligence, media monitoring, and on-ground event support across 22 states
Notes.
The 'before' version runs on. It is too long and unwieldy. It has no subject. It is a dangling modifier.
I broke the sentence into two. Fixed the dangling modifier.
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