Skip to main content

Sentence 117

Before
The increase in mobile gaming is running parallel to India’s rise in smartphone adoption, which is set to have 530 million smartphone users this year. Explain the opportunity that lies for you in India.

After
The increase in mobile gaming is keeping pace with India’s rise in smartphone adoption, which is set to have 530 million smartphone users this year. What are your plans for the Indian market?

Notes:

Running parallel to vs. keeping pace with #phrasechoice


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Sentence 130

Before Sometimes even one motivated person can bring about a big change. After Sometimes, all it takes is one person to make a difference.  Notes Inserted a comma after 'sometimes'  Changed the sentence to pack in a punch.

Sentence 84

Headline Before - A sneak peak into life in Pyeongchang beyond the #Winter Olympics. After- A sneak peek into life in  Pyeongchang beyond the #Winter Olympics Notes #wordchoice Peak vs. peek

Sentence 82

Before The timelier and more enhanced the insights, the greater an organisation’s ability to stay ahead.  After Timely insights enable an organisation to stay ahead.  Notes: 'The timelier and more enhanced the insights' is not parallel. So I have rephrased. Also, timelier? We only say timely. Do not say 'organisation's' , i.e, do not form the possessive of a non-living thing.  Have also cut down the sentence for brevity.