Skip to main content

Sentence 127

Before
At Southern India Chamber of Commerce and Industry's session today, we discussed how Indian companies can invest in #Digitaltransformation; move to #cloud; bring #cybersecurity & #automation to manage post-#Brexit disruptions. An insightful discussion with @DHC_Chennai & others.

After

At Southern India Chamber of Commerce and Industry's session today, we discussed with @DHC_Chennai & others how Indian companies can invest in #Digitaltransformation, move to #cloud, ensure #cybersecurity, and drive #automation to manage post-#Brexit disruptions.

Notes
I made the sentence parallel - inserted a verb before the nouns.

Replaced semicolons with commas.


--> -->

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Sentence 130

Before Sometimes even one motivated person can bring about a big change. After Sometimes, all it takes is one person to make a difference.  Notes Inserted a comma after 'sometimes'  Changed the sentence to pack in a punch.

Sentence 84

Headline Before - A sneak peak into life in Pyeongchang beyond the #Winter Olympics. After- A sneak peek into life in  Pyeongchang beyond the #Winter Olympics Notes #wordchoice Peak vs. peek

Sentence 66

Before However, I believe there are a few truths that the frenzy over growth hacking often tends to gloss over or miss. After However, in all the frenzy raised by growth hacking, I believe there are a couple of truisms that are often glossed over. Notes: Truth vs. Truism - Word Choice few truths vs. couple of truisms There were only 2 truisms raised in the article from which I took the 'before' version. So I felt it more appropriate to say 'couple of truisms'. Rephrased the 'after' sentence for clarity of thought and expression.