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Sentence 10

Before


A common conundrum several organizations in today’s data-saturated world face is finding the time, means and expertise to mine the information that is being generated continuously—within every sector and domain—to deduce insights with which to improve business results.

After
 A problem most organizations  face today is finding the time, means, and expertise to mine the information—within every sector and domain—for insights that can be used to improve business results. 

Notes:
  • This sentence tries to cram too much into limited space. 
  • Conundrum means b :an intricate and difficult problem " according to m-w.com
  • So obviously you can't have a 'common conundrum'. This is a word choice problem. It's better to use simple words that convey the intended meaning, rather than misuse uncommon words.
  • I have cut out some of the adjectives and phrases to shorten the sentence: "data-saturated", 
  • '—to deduce insights with which to improve business results.' has been changed to 'for insights that can be used to improve business results'. because 'with which' is a tongue twister.
  • Finally, read  a sentence out loud to see if it is simple and readable. It shouldn't sound like a mouthful. 

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