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Sentence 122

 Before
I am proud to announce the opening of our 23rd water unit for Public use in Bidadi. This is part of Toyota's plans to ensure that the public can access clean water. This hi-tech water unit can benefit 8000 population and is a big step towards reducing water-borne diseases.

After
 
I am proud to announce the opening of our 23rd water unit for public use in Bidadi. The facility underlines Toyota's commitment to ensuring that the public has access to clean water. The hi-tech water unit can benefit 8000 citizens and is a big step in combating water-borne diseases.

Notes:
'Public' does not require a capital P.

'8000 population' is incorrect usage. Changed it to 8000 citizens. #worchoice

Starting a sentence with "This" is avoidable since the antecedent is unclear.


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