Skip to main content

Sentence 112

 Before
@jk_rowling is truly a magician!

After
@jk_rowling truly creates magic!

Notes:
The 'after' version indicates that her work is magic while the 'before' version makes it sound like she is a professional magician.

#word choice.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sentence 82

Before The timelier and more enhanced the insights, the greater an organisation’s ability to stay ahead.  After Timely insights enable an organisation to stay ahead.  Notes: 'The timelier and more enhanced the insights' is not parallel. So I have rephrased. Also, timelier? We only say timely. Do not say 'organisation's' , i.e, do not form the possessive of a non-living thing.  Have also cut down the sentence for brevity.
Post a Comment
Read more

Sentence 73

Before The team manages media for one of our oldest client, X and over the years, they have helped X branch out and break new ground. After The team manages media for one of our oldest clients, X, and over the years, they have helped X branch out and break new ground.  Notes: 1. Rookie mistake! -  The team manages media for one of our oldest client s.... One of my friends not one of my friend. Similarly, one of our oldest clients, not one of our oldest client. (One of many)
Post a Comment
Read more

Sentence 130

Before Sometimes even one motivated person can bring about a big change. After Sometimes, all it takes is one person to make a difference.  Notes Inserted a comma after 'sometimes'  Changed the sentence to pack in a punch.
Post a Comment
Read more